(Pro Tip: watch out for words like “always,” “never,” “hate,” or “wrong,” as signs you may be splitting.) So part of living in recovery of BPD is constantly analyzing my thoughts to look for signs of my symptoms like splitting. Even something as irrelevant as that is processed by my splitting thoughts. Advertisementīut I am constantly polarizing my thoughts, and I can’t avoid everything that causes it because then I’d get upset with every person who prefers Miracle Whip to mayo. I don’t feel I’m losing much by avoiding politics, so it’s an effective way for me to cope with splitting. I wish I could participate and stay reasonable and rational, but time has proven I still can’t, even in recovery – so I don’t (well, I try not too). But dialectically, I realize I do this and I take measures to prevent it by avoiding political conversations. So I would suddenly hate someone I had liked just based on their political views – which is unfair and immature. Splitting says you’re either with me or against me. When I did engage in political discussions, more so when I was younger but occasionally still do, I would do things like argue facts that have been proven to be incorrect, just for the sake of staying right. You should have seen how upset I was getting this past election season and how many people I unfriended! Splitting says my views are right, so yours are wrong. For example, I cannot debate or realistically discuss politics with someone I disagree with. I also have to take precautions to avoid situations that cause splitting. Splitting also contributes to frequent mood swings as we switch from all good to all bad.Īs I said, splitting is something I have to constantly be on the lookout for. This contributes to our identity disturbance and poor self-image. Often “I am a bad person” is an idea we are positive is true. It isn’t only about others – we may think of ourselves under these strict guidelines as well. Splitting is one of the reasons we can so quickly change from idealization to devaluation, and because of that, we may have chaotic and unstable relationship patterns. AdvertisementĪs you can imagine, thinking in these extremes causes a lot of the symptoms associated with BPD. Due to this, when someone with BPD is acting out, it’s not that they’re failing at using their coping skills effectively – it’s that those skills may never have developed at all. What causes BPD is a complicated issue, but most professionals agree trauma can play a key role in disrupting the development of the person with BPD. It’s a natural defense mechanism all humans have as children. There is nothing intentional about splitting it’s an automatic response to intense and/or dysregulated emotions. The therapy and its coping skills intend on helping patients more easily find a balance between these two extremes we are used to experiencing. “Dialectical” means the integration of opposites, seeing that two seemingly opposite things can be true at the same time. That’s why the main treatment for BPD is called Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). My life is either absolutely terrible or completely amazing, but nowhere in between… Everything is either all good or all bad – there is no middle ground. So what is splitting? Splitting is the inability to see the dichotomy of both positive and negative aspects of our thoughts, usually associated with how we think about people.

Bpd dark thoughts